Find A Therapist - Reasons Why You Fall in Love With Your Therapist Or counselor
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If you are finding a therapist (psychologist or counselor) you may have fallen in love with him or her. It may have started as a great thing which makes you feel on top of the world, beautiful, sexy, exciting, unique, strong and overall elated but now you are feeling a small lost and confused. You may be wondering if there's a chance you and your therapist can have a relationship, or even day-dreaming about it. S-T-O-P
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You are not in love with your therapist. I know it's feels real, it's a super strong feeling which either makes you feel on top of the world or makes you confused, but either way it's not love and it's not falling in love.
So, what's happened? You are merely experiencing a psychological process. This process, called 'transferrence', has taken place for one of the following reasons:
1 - your therapist decided that it'd be a good strategy in your therapy. Unfortunately it only works well with a few clients and, most of the time, it's something that may get out of control. I have asked many therapists and they have all told me that it's a technique to be avoided whenever potential because it may well interfere, rather than help, with real strengthen in your own therapy. The very best psychologists will easily avoid using this technique unless they are sure that they can cope it and that You can cope it, and unless they are sure that, given your psychological make up, the 'fallen in love' feeling will only last a very very short time. I can see the advantages, especially when you feel depressed or unappreciated or just un-sexy. It by all means; of course brings 'the old, sexy you; out! But it's very risky and tricky and it needs to be managed easily well. Not every psychologist can.
Therapists with a huge ego often use this technique. But a huge ego does not necessarily mean a good therapist!
2 - it may have happened even if this was not your therapist's intention. Again, the very best therapists know what to do to preclude this from happening, but a psychologist or a consultant is also a human being so they may not have been so aware that it was taking place, and not to the extent that now you are head over heels in love with him/her.
It takes place when, throughout the sessions, unavoidable feelings and thoughts (the most private, the most intimate, the most repressed even) are elicited. You find yourself revealing all in an empathetic environment. Soon your mind 'transfers' such feelings onto the therapist and you begin to think that you have fallen in love with him/her. It's all advent from you, it's based on you, and sooner or later, believe me, this emotional 'bubble' will burst. Again, this is not love; even if your therapist has given you signs that he/she is somewhat reciprocating these feelings; these two phenomena are only psychological processes called Transference And Counter-Transference
If you are truly stuck in this emotion it's going to interfere with the strengthen of your therapy. The best thing to do is to talk straight through this with your therapist or, great still, to convert therapist, even if it's for a join of sessions focused on getting over this feeling. It'll only take a join of sessions with a good therapist to get over it and move on.
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